A few Days Late

Anyone who knows me knows I suffer from panic and anxiety attacks. Several things can trigger my attacks but, in knowing the triggers I can try to ward them off or lesson them by breathing deeply, thinking of something else or getting my mind and hands busy by writing a blog or playing a game. You know, whatever helps pass the time.

This is not one of those times.

I am freaking the fuck out and I will tell you why.

I went to my Doc on Friday I think. He does pretty much NOTHING but sends me to another Doc after he had my lab work done in which that was a fucking mess. I was fasting, went to labs, they said they didn't need me so I went up to Doc who then sent me back to labs saying yes...they did need me. I was in my wheelchair at this point because my sugar was so off I was dizzy so the twit who takes my blood tries to do it in the chair with no arm rest and she says and I quote. "Sorry, this is my first time." Glory fucking hallelujah I am this cunts first time! Instead of talking to me she talks at me and treats me like a invalid. She tells Liz to hold my arm up. I told her I was quite capable of doing that on my own. This Toerag can't find my veins and when she does she butchers my still bruised and sore arm. After my four vials of blood I'm let loose to go to the second Doc in the next town over.

On the way Liz stops at the Almighty Taco Bell (I LOVE YOU LIZ) and we have lunch in the parking lot under a shade tree. This was all good nice and sweet.

I wish I could continue my rant about the second Doc of the day but I can't cause Nurse Dorothy is a sweetheart and it had been three years since I saw her and Doc Merino and they are really cool. The worse news I got was I have and infection that is aggressive enough to warrant 480 anibiotic pills (On top of the slew of pills I already take daily) I take two every six hours. Joy. And...I'm back in una boots. Anyone wanna know what that means it's like a wet cast with horse wrap wrapped around it. I have to wear them til Thursday, change and do over until I see him again. They were kind enough to give me the supplies cause the shit costs an arm and a leg.

My Una boot past...I used them three years ago for the ulcers in my legs. Well, I don't get those anymore, now they are to keep my feet from swelling so they can heal better while the antibiotics are working and the zinc paste they are enpregnated with cools the burning sensation of the wounds on my feet. When I wore them in the past they were a pain in the ass because they wrapped the wet cast with ace bandages that never stayed up and the zinc paste soaked through leaving white residue on everything. Seriously, I had white footprints on the carpet. They were hot and they drove me insane as well as Chris and Lucky who kept stepping on the sharp little medle monster things that held the ace bandages together. They had to be re wrapped every morning and afternoon cause I would somehow fuck them up and they'd unravel so they drove Chris insane as well. (He was the unlucky one to have to wrap and re wrap them)

This time around the horse wrap is the way to go...until it got hot outside on the third day and my feet started sweating and itching and I began figiting and itching. (In my sleep...mostly) Anyway...

I went to two Docs on Friday and the second Doc, the good Doc makes me an appointment to see a dermatologist because my skin is like all itchy and flaky in patches. (My first Doc, whose my regular Doc should have done that, instead he ushered me over to the second Doc, the specialist...)

And if you aren't confused yet. I will try to tell you the whole reason for this blog.

I got a message from the good nurse Jenn to call so I did. I get this twit named Gale who gave me her version of my lab results. A monkey could have read my results better then she did. Bitch Please! She had me freaked out telling me one thing then another about the same damn thing and she mumbled over and over and said blood in urine and come in to see Doc again and she wasn't going to tell me results and wouldn't let me talk to Jenn or Doc. I called again....I got Cock blocked again! Same damn twit. I tried telling her Doc has never left me hanging about my results before and has never wanted me in so soon after an appointment. She still refused to let me talk to who I wanted or to take a message so I called Liz and I told Liz, she all but hung up on me then called back and said my Doc would be calling...and he did!

She went postal!

Thank you Liz, My Hero for the Day!

I have to go in because he didn't answer any of my questions last time or look over any of my concerns. He said he was so worried about my feet that he sent me to a specialist and that he wanted to see me again to address everything else I thought he dismissed the first time. (Well, he never said anything about coming back then so when we left his office to go to the specialist Friday we were confused and thinking he was a quack.)

Sigh...opposing doom lifted....for now.

I am wore out...peace dudes.

GRRRRR

IT IS FUCKING MONDAY!....


And I hate it already.

I woke up having to piss like a Russian racehorse. This should be a simple feat. Gotta go then get out of bed and go....NOT.

I had to get my C-PAP mask untangled from my hair then when I was free of that mess my oxygen tubing connector came off with the hose for my humidifying unit. Ok, fuck...I really gotta pee. A bit later I get everything straight then I can't fucking move. My body is racked with pain because I had stayed in one spot the whole night I slept. This always happens when I use my C-PAP machine but without it I don't sleep well at all. Ok, I do at last make it to the bathroom door. The toilet is a few feet away, I'm gonna make it....WHAT THE FUCK??? I'm BAMBI on ICE! I slip and slide all over the damn floor but manage to maintain my balance and make it to my destination accident free....and dry. Alas relief!

No......not for Angel...not to day...not on this FUCKING MONDAY!

I decide I might as well go get some hours off the nemesis DVR. I grab some Diet Dew and popcorn from Chris' outing to the movies with his Broman yesterday, turn the TV on and my back goes out. WHAT THE FUCK!I hobble to my chair, settle in and what to my weary eyes should appear?? NOT THE FUCKING REMOTE! I look for it for half an hour to no avail. My feet are hurting, cracking and bleeding at this point so damn it to hell, I am going back to my room.

I do what I call "treat my feet" where I clean them with cleanser, saline solution and put baby oil on them. I am in alot of pain today. I thought it would be healing sooner but I heal so damn slow.

I get to the brink of madness then here comes Optimus Prime to save me. Ok, I wish he could come, whisk me away and make it all better but I settle for the cartoon on Tv at 5 am. Why are they on so early???

My joints hurt and the car on the road sounded like it was wet out. Dew? Rain?

My finger is cracked and bleeding and someone moved the bandaids.

I'm going insane inside my head. So many things to do to get my Senior all ready for her last year in school. I have over 100 pics to select and crop for her senior pics...

Ok, my mind is occupied....these monkeys called Bonobo's are amazing. I just watched one build a fire and roast hot dogs. Aww they are so cute. DAMN IT THE SHOW IS OVER! ARGH!!!!!!

My toes are cold. I cut the toes out of these sox cause they hurt my wounds. cutting the toes out made it less tight around the top of my feet.

Chris and Lucky gets up soon. I wish Chris could stay home and hold me in bed all day. I just want to be babied, petted and pampered when it hurts.

We all still have our head colds.



On a lighter note...My Lizzy bought me a foot pedicure kit with mmm smelly smell good foot balm, a black puppy plushy I named MJ for Mickey Jr., and best of all my two new Ratties I named CM Punk Guerrero and Chritian Beniot. Yes, I have Pics. I was going to name them after Eddie and Chris since they passed onto the ring in the sky but Punk had white paws and pink fingers and Christain had a C on both side for Christian Cage so I named my boys after four wrestlers I really admire. Yes, I am a wrestling fan hardcore.



Alarm went off.

Lucky is in the shower, Chris is coughing his head off. I wish I could make him better.

I hope Lucky is in a good mood. We finally got to the nitty and the gritty about this issue that has been going on over the last few days and to get to the bottom of it, someone told her I might end up getting my legs amputated and my Daughter freaked out. I mean not Tom Cruise freak out like on Jerry Mcguire but it scared her bad enough to where she felt the needs to police my actions. After calming her fears I explained that I have been with Chris for so many years and he knows everything about my health and he is the one I use as my conscience. I listen to him and what he says about things concerning the important issues in my life. On top of that I lost my Mother to cancer when I was around Luck's age so I know the stress and fear of having a ill Mother...and I won't do anything to risk that....if I would have I'd have had a risky surgery to solve all my troubles. Enough said.

I am trying really hard to get caught up on gaia but it seems the more I do to get ahead the farther I fall behind so I've just been talking to everyone in the OOC room so you know my hearts with you!

It's storming....I love the rain...I love the lightning...the smell.....

I wish it could wash it all away.......

Have a good one Peeps.

Who Makes You The Moral Moniter

When are people going to learn to mind their fucking business?

Whose died and made you God?

What right have you got to point your finger at anyone else?

You don't like what you see? Turn your head!

You don't want to hear what is being said? Stop listening.

Who are you to tell someone how to raise their kids, where to go to church or how to live in general?

Take all this nit picking and turn it on yourselves and worry about your own lives....then when your the peach of perfection...maybe your worthy enough to help someone else other then try to control them.

Tampons to the rescue in Iraq !!

Tampons to the rescue in Iraq !! Don't worry, it's a good story, and worth reading. It's even humorous in parts. It's from the mother of a Marine in Iraq .

My son told me how wonderful the care packages we had sent them were and wanted me to tell everyone thank you. He said that one guy we'll call Marine X, got a girl care package and everyone was giving him a hard time. My son said, "Marine X got some really nice smelling lotion and everyone really likes it, so every time he goes to sleep they steal it from him." I told my son I was really sorry about the mistake, and if he wanted I would send Marine X another package. He told me not to worry about Marine X because every time I send something to him, Marine X thinks it's for him too.

He said when my husband and I sent the last care package, Marine X came over to his cot picked up the box, started fishing through it, and said, "What'd we get this time?"

My son said they had the most fun with Marine X's package. He said he wasn't sure who we were sending the pack to, but the panties were size 20, and he said one of the guys got on top of the Humvee and jumped off with the panties over his head and yelled, "Look at me, I'm an Airborne Ranger!!!!" One of the guys attached the panties to an antenna and it blew in the wind like a windsock. He said it entertained them for quite awhile. Then of course.......they had those tampons.
When he brought this up, my imagination just went running, but he continued. My son said they had to go on a mission and Marine X wanted the Chap-Stick and lotion for the trip. He grabbed a bunch of the items from his care package and got in the Humvee. As luck would have it he grabbed the tampons too, and my son said everyone was teasing him about "not forgetting his feminine hygiene products."

He said things went well for a while, then the convoy was ambushed and a Marine was shot. He said the wound was pretty clean, but it was deep. He said they were administering first aid but couldn't get the bleeding to slow down, and someone said, "Hey! Use Marine X's tampons!" My son said they put the tampon in the wound. At this point my son profoundly told Me, "Mom, did you know that tampons expand?" ("Well....yeah!")

They successfully slowed the bleeding until the guy got better medical attention. When they went to check on him later The surgeon told them, "You guys saved his life. If you hadn't stopped that bleeding he would have bled to death." My Son said, "Mom, the tampons sent by the Marine Moms by mistake saved a Marine's life."

At this point I asked him, "Well, what did you do with the rest of the tampons?"
He said, "Oh, we divided them up and we all have them in our flak jackets,
and I kept two for our first aid kit."

I am absolutely amazed by the ingenuity of our Marines. I can't believe that something that started out as a mistake then turned into a joke, ended up saving someone's life. My sister said she doesn't believe in mistakes. She believes God had a plan all along. She believes that "female care package" was sent to Marine X to save our Marine.

Either way, our efforts have boosted the morale of many Marines, provided much needed items for our troops, AND saved the life of a Marine! God bless every one of you for your efforts and hard work, and God bless our Marines, Army, Navy, Air Force and all our military service personnel.
GOD BLESS AMERICA AND KEEP IT SAFE!

HOLY TROPICAL SOUR ICEBREAKERS BATMAN

Here I sit with unkempt hair, a headache from hell and a grumbly tummy. I need a shower. The oven is heating up fro some yummy baked chicken. As for the headache...it's gone on for days again.

Oh joy, another one of those vagisil commercials are droning on in the background. I hate commercials which is one of the reasons we got a DVR. I'm in my bedroom though and awaiting Montel to return. Grandma loved Montel so I watch him...it makes me feel close to her and that feels good. She is right...he is a smart caring man. Today's show is about how our teens are sexually rampant and how our president Clinton has the whole world believing oral sex isn't sex.

I hear Mickey's collar jingling...I am keeping him tonight for mental health reasons. Lucky said she would walk him for me.

I've been in alot of pain with my feet lately. Cracking, bleeding, hard to walk. They burn alot and it is quite maddening and God and I have gotten in shouting matches over it.

Well, Lucky has come home baring gifts. The chicken was traded in for the pizza she brought to bake and she brought Ice cream, Caramel topping, fruit, gogart,doritoes,24 pack soda, CareBear snacks and my favorite...cappuccino a 24 oz. at that!. Yeah...Baby Girl got paid and still has money for the fair.

Gaia has this event going on, a balloon fight and it is taking up most of my time. That, the DVR and my new obsession Ultimate Alliance 2. Yes, Miss Angel is kicking ass and taking names with my team Angelz Avengerz. My team is made up of Elektra, Iron Man, Captain America and my beloved Deadpool. If you haven't played it....get it.

Been spending most my social time with Chris, My Sissy and Lucky.

Chris is doing well, been ill, beat up from work, but he is in good spirits so that is good.

Lucky is Lucky, moody...lol. She won me two lil animals at the fair. A pink pup and a froggy, I have yet to name them. School is starting soon. My lil baby is a senior. She and Ben are happy and as in love as ever.

Sis on the other hand has been put through the wringer. I won't write it here but...she needs an award for putting up with bullshit. She has her own blog and if she wants the world to know she will tell you.

I have to tell the world I LOVE ELLEN! I watch her ALL the time. SHE ROCKS AND I WANT A ELLEN HUG SO BAD!

oK i AM RAMBLING....ttfn!

Silly Song Day

BOWLING FOR SOUP LYRICS

"A Friendly Goodbye"

I can lay it on real thick
But I know how you don't like to get bogged down
With anything 'bout us
And our kick ass true love tale
Sorry I swore just then
Cause I know you hate it
And by the way that cake you baked me really sucked
But I ate it

[Chorus]
Cause I loved you
Even more that you could ever imagine
Here's a friendly goodbye
5,6,7
Ain't that a "b" with an itch
Ain't that a mother trucker
You can go to h-e-double hockey sticks
And f yourself
Cause I'm flippin' gosh darn sick
Of all the "s" words you put me through
So f-u
F-u

I can hang it out to dry
Cause I know how you like all your laundry neat
And not just thrown around
Like a chain saw in need of juggling
Sorry I flipped you off cause I know,
That you hate it
And that homemade porn I said that I erased
Well I saved it

[Chorus Repeat]

I'll send you a post card that says
I'm glad you're not here
I'll buy you a t-shirt
But I'll use it to wipe up the beer
That I spilled
While I was spilling my guts
To my friends about you
And I really don't have anything else nice to say

MONDAY????

Morning Everyone...

Things I need to do....that is what I should call this entry...

I need to get things done online like my guild, my blogs, myspace, emails...

Spend time with Lucky and Sis in the real world...then there is the DVR and the plumber coming this afternoon....

My head really hurts, I'm still sick.

Been raining forever. Feels like it did when I lived on the Ft. Lewis Army base in Tacoma Washington.

I like the rain so i guess that makes me lucky.

Ive been trying to be more forgiving and not let things get to me but it's getting pretty hard these days. There are just some things I can't take. Prickly people are getting on my last nerve.

Bah...Talk to you all later.

PS, I got everything done I set out to do. Yay me.