These Days

It's been a long time for me to be silent. At least it feels that way to me. I feel so bottled up inside yet I don't know where to start. I've been dealing with allot. Better to list them I guess.
Pain.
My feet and legs are hurting mostly due to swelling in my legs and cracking and bleeding on the top of my feet.
My teeth, I had one crack and splinter into my gums which i harvested with tweezers and another hurts so bad I can't close my mouth. Dentist is Wednesday...THANK GOD.
My digestive track has been pretty crazy, I won't explain, you'll thank me but I don't know if it's sickness or nerves...I think both?
My asthma has been pretty whacky. Had to use my nebulizer twice. It's bothered me enough that it's cutting my spa time down.
I've been using my cpap machine but I'm really not sleeping unless I'm really worn out and I take my morning or evening meds.
I've found myself short fused without my Xanex. I put so much into trying to manage pain that I snap at Lucky, and yes even Chris and Pierce. So I end up taking my Xans and it takes the edge off.
I've had allot of emotions running through me. Been doing my best to deal.
I'm having issues with trust as well. Letting people in is getting hard for me. I've let so many go lately that being alone is norm.
I'm dealing with guilt over not being there for my guild and the few people who do talk to me on a daily basis. I want to be there more but some days I can't even get on the comp. Something always gets in the way. I feel my Sis is my Ambassador some days. As long as she is there I know it hasn't been abandoned.
All I can think of All blogs will say the same.