Best Birthday....EVER

OMG!

I had the best birthday ....EVER!

Thanks to my daughter who threw together a awesome constume event!

Everyone who was present dressed up except for Snoop but he even said he's be known as NASCAR Security. LOL!

I have allot of pics and I will post them on the blogs that will let me do it straight from my computer. I don't feel like to upload them to a server cause my blood pressure is up. It was for the last three days. Bad enough the day of my party the nurses kept calling wanting me in the E.R. but I let them know I was just excited over the party and so on and promised a call when my party was over.

Anyway....I had two whole days i was smiles and nothing major went wrong. Chris was the first day. He was amazing. We spent all day and night together watching movies, shows, cuddling and well...(Insert naughty description here). He was just really funny and kept me laughing. We had such a great time! (Thank you Ponkey Muppy!)

The second day was my party. Lucky really out did her self. She got the cake, got friends over, got snacks, drinks, and so on. She had everyone dress up and even put together a costume contest where everyone won at least once!She knows Halloween is my favorite holiday, followed by christmas. (Thank you PussyKat)

I even got to do Lucky's make-up and will be doing it again for her for work on wednesday. She liked it that much! (As did everyone else)

I am still full of the warm and fuzzies. Oh yeah...Chris dressed up!!!!! That was really a treat for me cause i didn't see it coming! He rules! I will caption the pics so you guys know whose who for the ones that don't know.

Jokinly, perhaps my BP is up because I am watching nothing but scarry movies! been doing it for 13 days to halloween! Fun huh? (Well, I did cheat a lil cause I have to keep my DVR cleared so I watch what I record on there normally but I don't think that counts)

Oh...Gifts...I know you wanna know what I got!

Chris got me...

Got Murder? The Shocking Story of Wisconsin's Notorious Killers (That one is from his Bro Brian too)

You Can Run But You Can't Hide (By Duane Dog Chapman

HellBoy DVD
UnderWorld Dvd
Matchboxtwenty Exile On Mainstream Cd
Puddle of Mudd Famous Cd

He got take out from hong Kong island and the pens he got me I told you about.

Lucky got me...
300 DVD
Hannibal RisingDVD
and The Devils Rejects DVD (Unrated BABY!) Plus she took on the Party I discussed.

Liz, Randy,& Lil Mickey got me...
Three bags of sugar free candy. (Always thoughtful of my diabetes!) and a cute card.

My Neighbor Shawn, The Cheese Guy, to my surprise, got me...
A TY Baby Squarrel named Nuts
A TY Baby KolaBear named Mel
and a lizard sculpture. (He knows me well, for just meeting us!) He also gave me a awesome musical card and supplied tons of snacks, cookies, drinks and beer for the party. (No, I am not drinking but some of my friends have a few at my parties on PPV.) When Lucky and I went to show Shawn our costumes we actually scared him, he jumped, held his chest and everything.

Chris' Parents got me a 40$ Gift Card for Wally World and a Card!

Ben and his Mum (Lucky's Boyriend) Got me a Breat Cancer Awareness gel candle with real pink ribbons inside and a bracelet for the cause as well. That meant so much to me because Momma died of breast cancer.

I already posted about Tina and Snoops' roses and card I think as well as Lucky and Liz's Balloons.

Pierce sent me a awesome sexi card of a man and a pair of boxers...(Yes the pups!) A P.S. said the gift is still to come.

My Sissy got me Kaya the Cat!!! People on Gaia know what that is! I wanted it SO BAD! (Chris went all the way to Target to get the Gaia gold giftcard but they didn't have it so Sis had to buy the kitty straight off the market place!)

First time I talked to my Mom since the whole DNA test ordeal, She told me a card is in the mail and a gift to follow and she loved me.

I can't thank everyone enough for everything they have done over the course of my Birthday weekend! It helped me find my happy place again.

How can I not with all the Gore, Prezzies, Cards, Serial Killers, Monsters, Blood, Sex, Music, Vampires, Treats and LOVE!

LUCKY EVEN LEFT A MESSAGE FOR ELLEN TO CALL ME! I HOPE SHE DOES!

((Sis, SEE my Live Journal for Pics))

The What is it's

I got a card and a boquet of roses today from Snoop and his wife for my birthday. It was wholly un expected and appreciated.

New day same blog. I woke to a monkey puckering up in my face! A cute balloon from Lizzy wishing me well. I LOVE MONKEYZ! She also got me a book that I know I will like. I Vamp book! Sexy yeah!

Yet another day....Went to see Saw 4 with Liz. It was awesome. Not my fave of the four but good and bloody none the less. Got home to pretty balloons from Lucky. Three of them...one for Halloween, one for getting well, and one for HALLOWEEEEEEN! The cheese guy....who is know known as Shawn brought me two packs of COOOOKIES!! Wow....what a day followed up with my Chris wanting to give me some of my gifts for my Birthday. I wanted them oh so badly but was a good Angel and waited...except for the adorable light up Baby Eeor (sp?) and Tigger pens!

New Day...before 7 a.m. and I am hyper as hell. I am planning my costume for tomorrow. Lucky has turned my Birthday/PPV in to a Halloween party which I love! I know what I am going to be and I have all I need but I can't find the baby powder for an experiment. I wanna wake Liz or Chris to take me to walmart for make-up. Been so long since I have been this hyper. I am even giving out my Angel war cries that no one but me and my lil belly button living peeps know. Well, the lil man in my ear has learned the lingo too. He had to when the peeps in my belly button moved up to my ear for awhile but I digress.

Damn headache is wanting to settle in. I'm not medicated and I feel good so I am getting all I can out of this!

I had a Doc appointment Thursday. Lucky, Liz and I all had a nice sit in meal at taco Bell...wow, I went IN! We then went to the Doc. I have Exema. Anyway...we went to the costume store after. (I stayed in the car cause I was getting tired by then) followed by going home and trying on wigs. It was FUN! Friday i had my behavioral health nurse come and is proud that I made my goals but urges me to go out alone using the medical cab instead of Liz and Chris. Look, I have to be medicated to go out and have fun...how the hell will I be able to go out and do a Doc appointment on my own. I have to carry oxygen tanks, a purse with my medical needs plus the oxygen pump. My wheel chair that I push til I am too tired to walk. And then there is the panic attacks with the elevator, strangers, the general fear of being OUTSIDE! Anyway...my home nurse came to wrap my legs then Liz came and it was a lil hectic cause everything was going on too fast but I am stressing so on to happier thoughts.

My Sissy, I miss her and Pierce. I haven't gotten to talk to them much at all this week and I feel every time they are on the phone I am rushing off cause I have had so much to do or I have been tired for having to do so much or I am engaged with family time with Chris and Lucky. I know they will say don't worry, we understand, family comes first but you two are my family and I LOVE YOU!

I have however been sleeping more. Like maybe not as long but quality hours. I dunno. But I know I slept good. Been having insane dreams but not dark or scary ones from my past.

My pain level is just in my joints now. My right shoulder is killing me, then there is the headaches. I've been on and off with chest pains do to trying to catch a chest infection.

I miss my Guild and I am gonna try to be there on my birthday while Chris is gone for an errand and some today like right now!

Maybe cause just got up...and he said PAAAANNNNNCAAAAKES!

Oh yeah I am singing again and Liz took me to see the Elk, horsies, cows and bulls twice. HAIL TO THE SENIC ROUTE!

What The Fuck...

STOP MICROVAVING YOUR BABIES YOU FUCKING SICK FUCKS!


Dad microwaves baby, Wife blames the devil...WTF!

A woman blamed the devil, not her husband, for severely burning their baby daughter in a microwave, a Texas television station reported.

Eva Marie Mauldin said Satan compelled her 19-year-old husband, Joshua Royce Mauldin, to microwave their daughter earlier this month because the devil disapproved of Joshua's efforts to become a preacher.

"Satan saw my husband as a threat," Eva Mauldin told Houston television station KHOU-TV.

It was behind door 518 at a Galveston motel room where the unimaginable happened: A father put his two-month-old daughter in the microwave and turned it on. Mauldin first threw the baby on one of the beds in the hotel room. He then confessed to striking her in the groin, placing her in the hotel room safe, and then putting her in the refrigerator prior to placing her in the microwave oven.


Manager says man calmly called for help after microwaving baby Last Thursday, Joshua Mauldin, 19, was alone in the motel with his baby when he called for help.

“The father called down here, asked us to call 911, claimed that the child had a bad sunburn and was bleeding,” hotel manager James Marx said.

Marx said he didn’t seem distraught at all.

Mauldin later told police it wasn’t a sunburn, but that he had accidentally spilled boiling water on the child.

Then his story changed again.

Also online

Joshua Mauldin's MySpace page(Warning: Contains offensive material)
“The first time, he tripped,” Galveston Police Sgt. Annie Almendarev said Wednesday. “Then he said, no, he was drinking it and spilled it. There were just too many inconsistencies. He just couldn’t keep his stories straight.”

A tip then led investigators to the hotel room’s microwave, where they discovered the baby had been placed inside.

Mauldin then confessed, saying stress had driven him to burn his child.

“There was no expression. There was no expression at all. No remorse,” Almendarev said.


The baby girl was rushed to Shriners Hospital, where she’s undergone two skin graft surgeries and is in critical but stable condition.

She suffered severe burns to the left side of her face and left hand.

“I’ve been doing this for a lot of years and actually it brought tears to my eyes,” Galveston Police Sgt. Annie Almendarev said. “The baby is burned on the left side here and it’s just really bad. Her hand is so swollen – if you’ve ever touched something hot you know you get that big boil on your hand – it looks like she’s holding a ball in her little bitty hand. It was just heartbreaking.”

Investigators believe the child was in the microwave for ten to 20 seconds.

Behind this door, the unthinkable happened: Joshua Mauldin put his daughter in the microwave and turned it on.
“I’m sitting there looking at the pictures and I’m sitting there looking at him, and there’s nothing I could really do about it but just keep my composure,” Almendarez said.

Mauldin had checked into the hotel last week along with his baby, his wife and his mother.

Police said he came to Galveston from Arkansas in search of a job as a minister.

“He’s the worst scum of the earth. I can’t … It makes you want to have cameras in the rooms,” Marx said.

At the time of the incident, Mauldin’s wife and mother were reportedly picking up dinner at a nearby restaurant.

According to police reports, he told investigators God ordered him to go to Galveston.

Mauldin was being held in the Galveston County Jail facing felony charges of injury to a child. His bond was set at $250,000.

Prosecutors said, if convicted, he could face anywhere from five to 99 years in prison and a $10,000 fine.


Mother Microwaves Baby to Death
Nov 28th, 2006


DAYTON, Ohio - A mother was arrested on suspicion of murdering her newborn daughter by putting the baby in a microwave oven.

China Arnold, 26, was jailed Monday on a charge of aggravated murder, more than a year after she brought her dead month-old baby to a hospital.

“We have reason to believe, and we have some forensic evidence that is consistent with our belief, that a microwave oven was used in this death,” said Ken Betz, director of the Montgomery County coroner’s office.

He said the evidence included high-heat internal injuries and the absence of external burn marks on the baby, Paris Talley.

Arnold was arrested soon after the baby’s death in August 2005, then was released while authorities investigated further. Betz said the case was difficult because “there is not a lot of scientific research and data on the effect of microwaves on human beings.”

The death was ruled a homicide caused by hyperthermia, or high body temperature. The absence of external burns ruled out an open flame, scalding water or a heating pad as the cause, Betz said.

Arnold’s lawyer, Jon Paul Rion, said his client had nothing to do with her child’s death and was stunned when investigators told her that a microwave might have been involved.

“China, as a mother and a person, was horrified that such an act could occur,” Rion said.

The night before the baby was taken to the hospital, Arnold and the child’s father went out for a short time and left Paris with a baby sitter, Rion said. The mother didn’t sense anything out of the ordinary until the next morning, when the child was found unconscious, Rion said.

Arnold has three other children.

In 2000, a Virginia woman was sentenced to five years in prison for killing her month-old son in a microwave oven. Elizabeth Renee Otte claimed she had no memory of cramming her son in the microwave and turning on the appliance in 1999. Experts said that Otte suffered from epilepsy and that her seizures were followed by blackouts.

...

Getting a paternity test would be a waste of time and money...

That is what she said to me today...My Step Mother....

What the fuck?

I still haven't been able to fully absorb what all I have learned over the past week.

She said believe what you want but it doesn't change it. Do the math.

Wow.

It's been days since I started to write this, three days slept evades me, last night I got a bit of rest.

The nights are the worse because the house is quiet.

Lost

I feel lonely...not cuddled enough. Not that I am alone, I have Chris and Lucky around. Chris more then Lucky these days, but no Mickey. I was really looking forward to him but whatever.

I know Lucky is doing her thing and we haven't been as close as we were....I guess I am starting the whole empty nest thing.

Days have passed and I got another call from my Mother....wow.....that is all I can say at this point.

I am really past the point of knowing who I am anymore or what my purpose here is anymore.

One thing I know...the only thing I know is that I am Lucky's Mother.

That alone is set in stone.

Key elements in my life have been changed by a voice on the phone...in less then a month...

As if my health isn't enough to worry over...

My Step Mother tells me I was molested before I remember. I thought my step father was the first at age six. She told me it was age 2 to 4. So who was my first attacker?

I've had nightmares since she told me. I cry out in my sleep again...lash out in my sleep...again....I was past all that...once.

Now, I feel myself slipping down farther into a abyss. I'm not sure how to climb out .

Upon speaking to my Step Mother yesterday about a condition I was experiencing and how I believe I had seen it in my Father and inquired if it could be passed through genetics she blurts out my Father is not my real father.

...

I can't express what those words did to me.

I poured through my medical records. No where is my blood type written down. I am so sure I'm an O and she said I was a A and Daddy was a B and then she gives me this story about how I was born three months early and my Mom told my Dad I was a premie but the Doctor told my Dad I was full term. The math didn't add up because when I was supposed to be conceived my Father who was a military man was out in the field.

My step-mom says I am still his daughter and he still loves me like I was really his. Like that is supposed to make me feel better???

I demanded a DNA test. It is all I could think of. My only defense. I look like him...I have the chin...his smile....what? I was his brother's kid?

I never fit in...I knew that...because I was the child who was torn and living between two families. A really good one and a really fucked up family. One where everything was done just right, and another where I was abused sexually, physically and mentally.

And now, she was telling me the ONLY adult who I had any faith in wasn't my father.

I called my Doctor and he said I had to go through the county health department to get a Paternity test. So I have no way of figuring this mess out until my Father gets the ball rolling because I will be damned if I am paying for it.

I have the right to know...plain and simple.

I can't take this not knowing....

I want to eat all the brownies in the house. I want to fill this growing hole inside me. Kill this pain. Stop my thoughts.

Nothing helps when I can't feel Chris's arms around me...and that helps because when i start obsessing he changes the subject knowing me well and knowing he can lead me away from this gloom that has covered my heart.

But when I'm alone I can't stay busy enough and now I have no power to get a quick answer, I have to wait on them to call tonight if my step-mom even does. She forgets...and then I will have to wait for the tests that will be done at their leisure I am sure.

It matters to me...

I know the love won't change...but so many questions can be answered...things that were in the past and things that creep in my head every time I try to close my eyes and sleep won't come.


I feel I cling to unhappiness as if it is my lifes calling because if I'm happy, I feel I am just on the road back to misery.

Ranting

Eight year old pulls out a handgun on the school bus...what the fuck? Seriously....! So what if it remained in the holster. How does a kid get a 38 caliber ...mom's ex- boyfriend...and he just get's a misdemeanor for 1 count of child endangerment....and if it's mom's ex....what the fuck is the gun still doing in the house...and...holsters gun can fire people...it just takes four to eight pounds of pressure on the trigger. Sigh...LOCKBOXES....and one count of child endangerment?? There were children on the bus...hello!? I am just sick over this.

Mother's drowning kids...

Kids drowning while mom shops for shoes on the Internet...

Teens open fire on schools...

A cop open fires on a room full of teens at a party.

Husband shoots and kills his wifes teen ...student...lover.

Babies being sold...

Babies being left in garbage cans...

A woman offers to trade her four year old for a wedding dress...yes...a wedding dress.

Dad walks his blood covered three year old into day care ...the little girl is ok...but mom and siblings are all dead...daddy is holed up in a car with a gun to his head.

Bootcamp guards kicking a boy to death...on camera...

14 year old teen has a arsenal in his bedroom...

Klutzo Clown arrested for kiddie porn. Former Minister...and Cop!


Still, Anna Nichole Smith and Britney Spears twat shots get top billing on Headline Prime News....what the fuck?

Natural Lover

Angel, when you're head over heels, you are a Natural Lover


You have a willingness to explore and take risks, which makes you a real catch for people who want to get out and experience all life has to offer. Whether you're camping, mountain biking, or simply taking a walk on the beach, your ease in the outdoors is something to be admired. In relationships, you're one of those balanced people who is able to think both with your heart and your head. This trait will surely benefit you in any romance you embark on.

No Mercy

PPV Hell

There isn't a WWE Or TNA Pay Per view that Chris and I don't host. All we ask is that someone chips in and brings the sodas. This used to be such a source of joy for us. Now it's a form of stress for us because we have to deal with...

Whose gonna bring soda?
Where is everyone going to sit?
Will everyone get along?
Whose going to take who home?
Whose gonna walk Mickey?
Will anyone stay and help clean up?
Will Chris get to see or hear the whole show?

We love hanging out with our friends. We don't want to stop hosting the PPV's and we don't want people to stop coming. We would just like to see everyone be considerate of everyone else so we can have fun as a whole.

A long time coming

I've really been having a tough time these last few weeks with being ill. These last few days have been harder on me still...mentally.

Those who know me know the things I've gone through. The darkness in my past is there and I do my best to leave it there. I've done pretty well.

Well, my step mom called me the other day and gave me some news that messed me up pretty bad. Something that happened in my past that I'm still in a semi state of shock over. I don't know what to say and I don't feel the need to write it here.

I've been trying to put words to my thoughts and write this for days. I just feel like no matter what I do it isn't good enough.

Someone is always going to feel used, left out, pissed off, unsatisfied, scorned and so on. There will never be enough of me to go around and I just have to accept...I can't please everyone.

I have my own battles with my health. It takes so much to do everything I'm supposed to when I feel so drained. When one thing is fixed another thing breaks and the meds I have to take make me sick and stoned or both. I decided this time to do everything just the way the Doc says and not push myself, and let myself heal and I feel things falling apart.

I feel guilty for depending on people.
I feel bad for being a burden.
I wish I could do something to show how much the following people mean to me.But nothing would be worthy enough.

I've pretty much left my guild in my Sister's hands and she's done the best she can. She has never done anything like that before, never role played and she's being a real trooper. And it can be stressful. Chris has helped her when needed and she has been able to call me at any time. It's just the guild is so important to me, and I miss it but I have to do what I gotta do...right?

Liz takes me to all my appointments and helps out with my wounds. She's there to listen when I need an ear and she comes over three times a week to hang out. In that time we usually watch movies or talk and so on. She helps allot cause she knows a great deal about medical stuff and I usually have allot of questions about new meds or treatments and so on. I always have a blast when we are together but by the end of the afternoon I am wore out. She also brings Mickey over and I can't begin to tell you how much he helps me out.

Chris, wow...where can I start? He has gone above and beyond in several ways. He works, runs errands, helps be, father's Lucky, buries my pets when they pass on, makes sure I have lil ratties to love, walks Mickey when he is here, and he cooks for the two of us.There is nothing he won't do to make me smile. He also has the errands he runs for his parents, his friends and the time he spends with his brother. I love him so much and I know I can never repay him for all he's done for me physically and mentally. Even the hard times we go through are dim compared to the love I feel with him. I will be forever grateful for him.

Lucky is a force of her own. When it boils down to it, she is there. She's going through the whole teenager pulling away from Mom thing. She's working, going to school and has a steady boyfriend. She does chores around the house and worries about me too much. She helps with Mickey and the ratties and tries to understand what is going on in the minds of her friends.We get in stupid spats and I feel they are stress related. I feel when I am feeling better things will even out. I

Then there is Pierce who's been a rock for me. As fate would have it, we hardly get to talk or rp like we used to but he's made every effort to call me or drop me an email to see how I am. He's doing his best to get through school, play football, get his lisence and get ready for collage. He's even dropped me snail mail to make me happy.

I know all of you have been at the wrong end of my temper from time to time and I'm sorry. Using my pain as a reason, or my depression isn't an excuse. I know you don't deserve it and I know how fortunate I am to have you in my life. I know I can be hard to deal with as well and I love you for not walking out on me. Each one of you are unique and I've never met anyone remotely like you (Besides Lucky who reminds me of me...) and I am thankful for you...even when I'm moody...or if I'm quiet....or if I don't show it.

When I started this days ago, I was in a different place mentally then I am right now. I thought I was going to write about why life felt the need to pile more shit on my plate, but through taking a personal inventory of the people closest to me, I felt a different by the nights end.

Take Care Readers...